Words

She had loved reading for as long as she could remember. She had loved writing almost as long. She began writing when she was 14, coinciding interestingly, she thought, with the year she became a Christian. In reflecting back after many years, she thinks there must be a spiritual connection to her writing. 

Her first attempts were poems, interspersed with the copying of song lyrics from her favorite albums, Sweet Baby James and Carol King’s Tapestry. She loved the way songs were poetry. She loved the written word and the meanings behind the written words. 

Quiet times walking in nature are her favorites. Listening to birds, feeling a breeze, feeling the sun shining warm on her face, the sound and refreshment of rain. . . these all speak to her of God and His presence, of what is real. . . of what matters. 

Her jobs in the corporate world stole away her peace, her knowledge of what is true and important. The one minute manager types looked down at her shoes and not in her eyes, always  trying to take away her confidence and strength. However, that was long ago. . .

Working in a corporate environment and driving on a highway, at speeds to pass 18 wheelers, are places she doesn’t believe human beings were created to be. Artificial places necessitating artificial actions and attitudes, adding unnecessary stresses to our lives.

Is it possible to live a life outside of these? She teaches now. She enjoys the creativity and love she brings to her work. For her next long road trip, she determines to find backroads to get her safely to her destination. 

She doesn’t know if it’s the warmth of the coffee or the warmth of the cup in her hands or both, but sitting quietly in the mornings, with her coffee and devotional books is her favorite time of day. Her time with the Lord, looking to Him and seeking His face, can bring tears to her eyes! The power of God’s word is always an amazement to her. If she is feeling chaos. . . it brings calm. If she is feeling worried. . . it brings peace. If she is afraid. . . it brings trust. If she is filled with the lies of this world. . . it brings truth. If she feels alone. . . it brings comfort.

She truly believes that one day, we will all see Jesus in all of His majesty and holiness. We will see that He created all things and is in all things. We will see with our own eyes, hear with our own ears and know in our own hearts that Christ indeed is the Word and was in the beginning with God, and He is God. We will see that He is light itself and life itself. She prays that each of her children and grandchildren will have the joy of knowing Christ on this earth and in heaven. 

John 1:1-5

In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. 2 He was in the beginning with God. 3 All things came into being through Him, and apart from Him [b]not even one thing came into being that has come into being. 4 In Him was life, and the life was the Light of mankind. 5 And the Light shines in the darkness, and the darkness did not grasp it.

Faith sat on the edge of her children’s bed, tucking them in one night. The bottom  dropped out from under her and she realized she was falling off a cliff. She looked beside her and realized her children were falling too. She was helpless to catch them. She was  helpless to catch herself. All she could do was pray for her survival so she would be there for them.

She searches for a single thread. Something to hold onto. She can’t see God.  She knows He must be there somewhere but she can’t see Him or feel His presence. She can’t  remember the Bible verses that used to mean so much. She’s enveloped in a blinding fog; a fog of fear and hopelessness. She’s afraid to look into God’s face. She is afraid that if she  does, He’ll tell her that she was wrong to step off the cliff. Only she didn’t know the cliff  was there. She didn’t see the deep chasm that separated her from the life she wanted for  herself and her children. A life of peace. Without anger and threats. Without intimidation  and manipulation. A life where her children could see what life is supposed to be and  what home is supposed to be.  

Have you ever felt this way? I think we all have had moments of feeling helpless and afraid as single moms. Depending on where you have come from and what life experiences brought you to this life as a single mom, the source of these emotions will differ.

When we are seeking for the answers, for something to fill our emptiness, to remove the fog of fear and hopelessness, be aware and careful of where we are looking for answers.

Jeremiah 10-14 was so powerful for me. Even though this is God speaking to Jeremiah about their exile, it spoke to me so clearly about the season of life in which I felt my children and I were traveling through. I made many mistakes seeking answers from all of the wrong places. When I turned my face to God, the fog cleared and my heart was filled. He promises that He will be found when we seek Him with all of our heart. 

10‘When seventy years have been completed for Babylon, I will visit you and fulfill My good word to you, to bring you back to this place. 11 For I know the plans that I have for you,’ declares the Lord, ‘plans for prosperity and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope. 12 Then you will call upon Me and come and pray to Me, and I will listen to you. 13 And you will seek Me and find Me when you search for Me with all your heart. 14 I will let Myself be found by you,’ declares the Lord, ‘and I will restore your fortunes and gather you from all the nations and all the places where I have driven you,’ declares the Lord, ‘and I will bring you back to the place from where I sent you into exile.’

As a single mom I struggled financially and I trusted in these words for some unseen place in the future and in an unknown way, that God will restore that area of my life.

When my children and I went through difficult stages of our relationships and I felt far away from the relationship I longed to have with my children, the words in verse 14 were a comfort. For me, being in exile was not just a physical place but sometimes an emotional place. God will bring you back together.

We can stand on God's promises in these times of uncertainty. We can call upon Him and pray and He will listen and we can seek Him with all of our hearts and He will be found.