Faith sat on the edge of her children’s bed, tucking them in one night. The bottom dropped out from under her and she realized she was falling off a cliff. She looked beside her and realized her children were falling too. She was helpless to catch them. She was helpless to catch herself. All she could do was pray for her survival so she would be there for them.
She searches for a single thread. Something to hold onto. She can’t see God. She knows He must be there somewhere but she can’t see Him or feel His presence. She can’t remember the Bible verses that used to mean so much. She’s enveloped in a blinding fog; a fog of fear and hopelessness. She’s afraid to look into God’s face. She is afraid that if she does, He’ll tell her that she was wrong to step off the cliff. Only she didn’t know the cliff was there. She didn’t see the deep chasm that separated her from the life she wanted for herself and her children. A life of peace. Without anger and threats. Without intimidation and manipulation. A life where her children could see what life is supposed to be and what home is supposed to be.
Have you ever felt this way? I think we all have had moments of feeling helpless and afraid as single moms. Depending on where you have come from and what life experiences brought you to this life as a single mom, the source of these emotions will differ.
When we are seeking for the answers, for something to fill our emptiness, to remove the fog of fear and hopelessness, be aware and careful of where we are looking for answers.
Jeremiah 10-14 was so powerful for me. Even though this is God speaking to Jeremiah about their exile, it spoke to me so clearly about the season of life in which I felt my children and I were traveling through. I made many mistakes seeking answers from all of the wrong places. When I turned my face to God, the fog cleared and my heart was filled. He promises that He will be found when we seek Him with all of our heart.
10‘When seventy years have been completed for Babylon, I will visit you and fulfill My good word to you, to bring you back to this place. 11 For I know the plans that I have for you,’ declares the Lord, ‘plans for prosperity and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope. 12 Then you will call upon Me and come and pray to Me, and I will listen to you. 13 And you will seek Me and find Me when you search for Me with all your heart. 14 I will let Myself be found by you,’ declares the Lord, ‘and I will restore your fortunes and gather you from all the nations and all the places where I have driven you,’ declares the Lord, ‘and I will bring you back to the place from where I sent you into exile.’
As a single mom I struggled financially and I trusted in these words for some unseen place in the future and in an unknown way, that God will restore that area of my life.
When my children and I went through difficult stages of our relationships and I felt far away from the relationship I longed to have with my children, the words in verse 14 were a comfort. For me, being in exile was not just a physical place but sometimes an emotional place. God will bring you back together.
We can stand on God's promises in these times of uncertainty. We can call upon Him and pray and He will listen and we can seek Him with all of our hearts and He will be found.