Tuesday, September 30, 2008
Tuesday, September 23, 2008
Saturday, September 20, 2008
(I can't believe I won the drawing! Thank you so much, Joni. I can't wait to enjoy my first cup. I will share it with my blogging friends when I do. Happy Fall!)
Tuesday, September 16, 2008
Monday, September 15, 2008
Some days I am reminded of the struggles of my own past and of women who are facing those same struggles today. My heart is filled with regret for those difficult days and for the lack of direction, the feeling of being caught between two extremes that were impossible to live out. Where do you go from there? I'm writing about being in a difficult marriage, having tried counseling and prayer, where do you go?
For me, my relationship with God was so wrapped up in my marriage. My identity was wrapped up in my marriage. How do you begin to separate the strands of your heart? How do you hold on to the One relationship you need for all time, and let go of the destructive one. It is a very heart wrenching process and one that I failed at miserably. This can be a very vulnerable time and a time to guard your heart very carefully so as to not walk away from God at the same time you feel you must walk away from your marriage. Is there a way to hold your spouse accountable and protect your home and family? Maybe there is a chance to restore the marriage through this process. Is there a way to know you have tried everything possible and because of that, you can walk away with your dignity intact and know that God is with you in the process?
I felt the need to write about this because I discovered a book and a seminar dealing with this situation. As I read excerpts from the book, tears ran down my face as I longed to have had this support at the time I needed it. The good news is that it is here to help women now. I pray that God will be with you if you are facing this in your life. God loves you and values you. You have great worth in His eyes and He will fight for you.
Do not be afraid of them; the LORD your God himself will fight for you."
Wednesday, September 10, 2008
First thing in the morning, my daughter brought to my attention that we were out of toilet paper. Where is that box of kleenexes? I know it's here somewhere. My son reminded me he had invited a friend to come home from school with him to play hockey so I asked my daughter to be at home while I worked that evening. She hadn't been too happy with me lately, so I was afraid this wouldn't go over too well.
It wouldn't have been quite so bad, but last week we had some frazzled evenings as well. Not that I didn't plan dinners and feel pretty organized, but the less time I spend at home with my kids the less we are connected and the less hugs and talks and laughs and everyone starts to feel stressed and we each express that in different ways and a feeling of distance starts to grow between us.
By the time we all left school, it had begun raining, so by the time I got home of course my son and his friend were completely soaked and playing in the creek behind our house which I promptly explained was not a good idea. "Well, what else are we gonna do, Mom?" So, the afternoon of playing hockey outside was not going to happen. I put in a cup of water in the microwave to heat for some instant coffee. I went back to my room to change clothes and my son followed me back to ask me "how much coffee do you put in the cup?" I'm touched by his thoughtfulness. The boys say they're hungry so I search for a snack, realizing a trip to the grocery store is past due. My daughter reminds me we're still out of toilet paper. And, off I go to work feeling neglectful and guilty.
A couple of phone calls home told me all was well and everyone seemed happy. Phew! On the way home I stopped by the store for some toilet paper, dog food and a few other things including two brownie mixes which with the 1.00 off coupon on each box I bought for .50 each!
At 8:20 when I arrived home, my daughter was outside visiting with a friend, and I walked into the house to find my son tightening the screws on the dishwasher. I look around and realize someone has done the dishes! Quietly and very matter of factly he told me he had done them, which meant he had put the clean dishes away and put the dirty dishes in the dishwasher. He had also scrubbed the crockpot clean except for one burned on place that neither he nor I could get clean. He had also finished his 30 minutes of reading for school. My heart was so blessed to see his hard work. I tried to find the right words to express to him what a treasure he is and he must be the best son in the world. God had reached into my hectic day. But He wasn't through yet. My son informed me that his sister had started vacuuming but had been interrupted when her friend came by. A little while later, she walked through the door, picked up the vacuum where she left off and proceeded to vacuum the dining room and living room. I tried not to stand with my mouth hanging open. I expressed my gratefulness to her with a hug and an "I love you". I told my kids how much it meant to me that they would help out like that. It lifted my burden and removed the worry.
I guess I shouldn't be surprised when God reaches into my life and blesses me when I feel I least deserve it, but somehow I always am.
"From the fullness of His grace we have all received one blessing after another."