I'm Not Perfect!

One of my favorite memories happened on a day when nothing had seemed to go right. I just couldn't do what I thought I had to do. There weren't enough minutes in the day to be the mom I wanted to be. The house wasn't clean, the dishes were in the sink, the laundry wasn't done and who knows what else.

But I stood there in the middle of this mess of a house and said loudly, as if making an announcement to the world," YOU KNOW WHAT? I'M NOT PERFECT!! I CAN'T BE PERFECT! NO MATTER WHAT I DO, MY HOUSE WILL NEVER BE PERFECT, LIFE WILL NEVER BE PERFECT AND YOU KNOW WHAT? IT'S OK!! I DON'T HAVE TO BE PERFECT." My daughter looked at me and said "Mom, I'm so glad you said that! I'm so glad you said that." We hugged and laughed and understood each other completely at that moment. In some way, I was giving my daughter permission to not have to be perfect, and she had given me the best gift she could ever give.

I remember that day every once in awhile. Probably not often enough. Yesterday while pondering this, I came up with some amusing thoughts that pretty well define the person that I am. I am consistently inconsistent, I am perfectly imperfect, I am a conservative non-conformist, I am a sentimental cynic, I am a quiet extrovert, I am an outgoing introvert, I am neatly messy, I am a lazy hard worker, I am a determined scatterbrain, I am a dichotomy: something with seemingly contradictory qualities. Which would explain my frustration at times, when I'm trying my best to be consistent, perfect, to conform, to be outgoing, to work hard, to be determined in my focus. Whew! Life will never be what we desire. How can it be with what I have to work with!

“If I discover within myself a desire which no experience in this world can satisfy, the most probable explanation is that I was made for another world” C.S. Lewis

I'm not sure how well that quote fits into what I've been writing about, but I really love C.S. Lewis quotes and this one speaks to me about the desire to be more than we can be, and the desire to accomplish something that is always just beyond reach. Maybe someday we'll understand.

"For now we see in a mirror dimly, but then face to face; now I know in part, but then I will know fully just as I also have been fully known. Now faith, hope, love, abide these three, but the greatest of these is love." 1 Corinthians 13:12-13

The gift my daughter gave to me that day was love. Unconditional love. The greatest gift of all.

Sunshine

You guys are soooo awesome! What fun encouraging comments you sent regarding my "winter doldrums". Even from as far away as Florida and Australia where it's really warm right now. I love you all. Your comments are enough to brighten any day!

I wish for you sunshine in your hearts even if your skies are gray. How's that for a poetic thought this morning? See you soon!

Winter Doldroms. . . Blah Blah Blah

Well, I think I have wandered aimlessly into the land of the winter doldroms. Aaaggghhh! Everything seems so boring and gray. I remember feeling this way every other year at this same time so I know it's normal, it's just so. . . so. . . boring. Maybe I'm just tired, I think! Coffee always helps! Actually, we are driving up to Oklahoma where it's even colder, to celebrate my Dad's 82 birthday! I'm excited about a change of scenery and to spend time with my parents. They still live in the home we moved into when I was 5 years old. I always enjoy going back home.

About a week ago, I decided my blog needed something new to brighten it up! I decided to put on some plaid flannel, that's always been a favorite of mine in the winter, but now even that seems boring. I'm determined to enjoy the snowflakes as long as it's cold outside, since I live in Texas, I don't get to enjoy them in real life.

I've had some new writing ideas, just haven't had the time to put them down on paper, or hmm, the virtual paper of my blog, I guess you could say. I've had the need lately to try and live in the real world, without my computer as much. But then, I find I've missed important emails from friends and interesting and inspiring blogs from you guys. Let's face it! The computer has become a part of our real world! It's kind of futuristic when you think about it. It's neat how God uses all of this new technology to bring His people together and accomplish His purposes too.

Got to go! Maybe I'll come back from my trip with a renewed perspective and energy! Just writing this has helped! Have a great weekend!

Tagged

I've been tagged by Annie to post the 4th photo in my 4th file in My Pictures. So here it is! It's my son playing Inline Hockey. My older son played for several years and now my younger son is playing. This was his first season about 2 years ago now. It's a really fun game to watch. The town we live in built a skate park a few years ago with two rinks built just for hockey! My older son had to play on tennis courts!

I need to tag two people now so who will it be? How about . . . Kylie at A Bite of Country Cupcakes and . . . I've got to go to work! I'll finish posting later! Ok, Kimberly at Walk the Beach, you've been tagged too!

Have a great day!

Philippians 4:6-7

Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. Then you will experience God’s peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus.

New Living

Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God.

And the peace of God, which surpasses all comprehension, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

NASB

Don't fret or worry. Instead of worrying, pray. Let petitions and praises shape your worries into prayers, letting God know your concerns. Before you know it, a sense of God's wholeness, everything coming together for good, will come and settle you down. It's wonderful what happens when Christ displaces worry at the center of your life.

The Message

Just thought you might be comforted by the same words that are comforting me this morning! I remember memorizing this verse as a teenager. It's amazing when we focus on God's words and turn our worries into prayers, He really does give us His peace.

May you have a day filled with peace, in spite of what is going on around you!

Anything New Photo Challenge

My boys went out on Thanksgiving afternoon and bought me some new Christmas lights and two new wreaths. They even climbed up on the roof to put them up for me! They looked so beautiful and really gave me a headstart getting ready for Christmas. Now I'll have new lights and wreaths to enjoy next Christmas season.

These are my new shower curtain and towels that my girls got me for Christmas! I love them!

Aren't they gorgeous? (see the bird?)

Some fun new birthday presents!

This is the school entrance for my new (three week) job beginning on Monday! The school does have alot of Hispanic children, but I didn't realize I took a picture of the Spanish side of the sign. I met with the teacher I will be substituting for this morning. I'll be in a resource classroom with 2nd and 4th grade kids helping them with reading and math. I'm really excited.

Anything New

It's such a glorious new year and so recently after Christmas it should be easy to find something new to photograph. Hmmmm. . . let me put my thinking cap on. I'll be back with a few photos!
Brenda's Photo Challenge this time is Anything New and is hosted by Laura Belle at Laura's - I Spy Weekly Photos . You can check out everyone else's photos while I go find some new things!

Contentment

Make sure that your character is free from the love of money, being content with what you have, for He Himself has said, "I WILL NEVER DESERT YOU, NOR WILL I EVER FORSAKE YOU,"
so that we confidently say,

"THE LORD IS MY HELPER, I WILL NOT BE AFRAID. WHAT WILL MAN DO TO ME?"

Hebrews 13:5-6

I heard this verse about a week before Christmas in a sermon. I marked it in my bible and began reading it over and over at home, before going to sleep at night or during the day, just to be reminded of its' truth. For some reason, I had never connected the different thoughts expressed in these verses together.

If I am not to love money, which I didn't think I did, however, I carried an awful lot of concern around in my heart for something I didn't love. What is money, after all? It is various pieces of paper, with numbers and designs on them. It is round pieces of metal, minerals imprinted with numbers and designs. Placing this fact in front of me, looking at it as simply a thing, gives me a healthier perspective. It can just be numbers on a page. It doesn't give value to me, or to my life.

Set your mind on the things above, not on the things that are on earth.
For you have died and your life is hidden with Christ in God.
When Christ, who is our life, is revealed, then you also will be revealed with Him in glory.

Colossians 3:2-4

Living my life in gratitude daily for what I have been given, learning contentment, has been one of the most rewarding journeys I have taken. To connect the words of Christ with this, "I will never desert you, nor will I ever forsake you", gives me a reason for being content. It's not based on denial of the facts of my situation, but based on something much greater.

What a gift, to read the words, "The Lord is my helper, I will not be afraid. What can (mere) man do to me?" We all face many different struggles and worries, but the same truth can calm each of our hearts.

I awoke in the night many times during the week of Christmas, and I leaned heavily on these verses, letting them dwell in my heart and mind. This past week, the concerns I had then are no longer. The things I was worrying about never came to pass. The arrival of two different checks, two days earlier than expected, and of course God's grace, has carried me through to a place today of no worries! Maybe I should whisper those words, but I woke up this morning with the realization that there is nothing hanging over me, no darkness threatening to cast a shadow over my day. I was so surprised by this that I started searching my memory for anything that I might have forgotten about!

I'm writing this because I felt I needed to share the GOODNESS OF GOD and HIS FAITHFULNESS in my life. Whether it's impossible financial situations we are facing or health concerns for loved ones, or impossible people in our lives, the Lord's words ring true and will sustain us through this new year, 2009.

God bless you richly!

Happy New Year!

"We will open the book. It's pages are blank. We are going to put words on them ourselves. The book is called Opportunity and it's first chapter is New Year's Day."

Edith Lovejoy Pierce

I found this quote last year on New Year's Day 2008. I included it in my first blog post, written on January 7, 2008. Writing and sharing with all of you has been lifechanging and has given me a creative outlet I needed. Reading your thoughts and insights, sharing in your lives has been a gift.

I'm realizing new places of healing taking place in my heart these days, making room for more beauty, for more openness to life. I'm beginning to love birds! I see them everywhere, in art and fabric, on plates and even on my new shower curtain! I see them differently somehow. Could they represent my heart's flight to freedom? May be. . .

“It may be hard for an egg to turn into a bird: it would be a jolly sight harder for it to learn to fly while remaining an egg. We are like eggs at present. And you cannot go on indefinitely being just an ordinary, decent egg. We must be hatched or go bad.” C.S. Lewis

“Hope is the thing with feathers, that perches in the soul, and sings the tune without words, and never stops at all.” Emily Dickinson

My prayer for us all, is a new year full of opportunities to fly!